Thursday, April 26, 2012

When Pregnancy Hits Me

You will never know when the faith comes to you. You never know whether it's a good situation or bad until you really into it. 

Since my pregnancy is a 'Big Hit' among my family and friends, there are these rumors, myths, dreams and also superstitions that been said and become the story that make everything 'make sense' for some people. The first trimester is the hardest, because I have this bleeding. Every night I feel scared that I might loose the baby.

From that bleeding, there's the story about spirits. Yes The Spirits. There's the spirits that want to reincarnate to be my baby. It's dangerous that's why I have bleeding, just blame it on the spirit and everything will be okay. Try to find the right shaman, drink some water from the shaman, put the salt on your bed, bring the garlic, some herbs and scissors everywhere you go. If you do that the bleeding 'might' stop. Might? Yes might... It's not an assurance, it's just a slight of protections.

They never see the reality, that I'm so exhausted in the first month of my pregnancy. There are these photo shoots that takes my times, consume lots of energy and sometimes taking my nerve to deal with lots of people that don't satisfy me. But that's life, right? So I think the over-worked (while I'm not realizing that I'm pregnant) is the first thing that make me bleeding. That's my own logic explanation.

The second trimester (I thought) is a little relief. But still there's the myths that sometimes blocked my way to move. Can't do the walk and walk. I have these people that always watched over me. In some point I love to have a little company, in the other hand, some of them makes me loose my nerve. There are dreams that makes people too worry and then pass those worries to me or to my husband (because I'm too fierce too talk about such things). They said that I'm not all ears. Actually I just have so many questions about those myths, theory, nightmares, or experience. I like to do it when I already know Why? How Come? Why? Why?. Just give me reasons (logic things will be soon accepted).

Some people never realize, despite  I'm questioning a lot of things about the 'un-logic' thingy, I always do the things that they pursue me to do. I seldom loose "my bodyguard" everywhere I go, I don't eat too much ripe mangoes in my first trimester while I'm bleeding (though three of my mango trees are in the season to harvest), rarely drive alone, drink the coconut juice from the cup, eat a little from a little plate, never stay at the corner of the garden at night (even when I'm not pregnant I never do that one), never eat ice block even the weather is freaking hot (and because I'm not the fans of ice drinks), I only sleep 6 to 8 hours a  day not even more, except I catch cold, I put the soap block under my sheet and sometimes I think it's a remote control that i kick under my blanket, I always bring scissors and or garlic and or herbs and or pins and a mini praying paper, I don't eat ripe guava that I love, I drink the coconut oil and lime almost every day, I don't sew or spike, I don't paint the room by myself, I try my best not to get furious too much, I try to release and let go, I try not to cry even I'm so awfully sad, I try not to play with my new puppy too much, I try not too take many steps at the stair, I don't eat too much salt like used to, etc etc etc.  I did crazy superstitions before, now and maybe after the baby is born, and I did it (believe it or not) with heart and I did things that also logic, the rules of the pregnancy. It's only for the sake of my baby.

So sorry that I asked too many questions about those dreams and superstitions. I get curious a lot. Still 3 months to go and I hope everything will be just fine. Even somehow I feel tired with the rules, I still try to manage it with my best.

Love you all,


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