Depression to Die

This afternoon I heard a bad news about one of our fellow designer. He died at four pm today.

We were shocked. At least I'm shocked. I know him several times from few designer's meetings and trainings. When I first know him, I always thought that he is a delightful person. Always smile and laughing. He always try to makes the entire room happy and try his best to take every critics and comments without hesitations. Somehow his oddness is what makes him what he is, his signature in everything that he does.

He's in his late forties, later I know it. Before, I thought he's in his late thirties. He's fun attitude always makes him young and vibrant. There's so much energy surround him, there are so many things that he ought to do. Always have lots of questions because he always want to know how, why, when, where even the funny thing is he's just questioning things, because even though he's asking what time to come, he usually late.

The most shocking thing about his death is the cause. He died of  depression and sadness actually I never heard anything like it. I never thought that people might die because of depression. I only know that people might die because of sickness, disease, accident, drugs or usual thing like that. I thought sad people just being sad, not suppose to be dead.

I know some of the people that always looks sad, act sad and do crazy things because they are sad. Some of them always complaining, some of them always unsatisfied with their life, some people cry a lot, some of them always sick or try to be sick, some people always acting sick to get every ones attentions. Crazy things that they do. But Depression to die is the new thing that I learn could happened.

My dear friend, I hope you rest in peace. Please be happy with God up there. Don't think too much anymore. Just be glad that He still love you and remember, you are capable of being Happy.

Enjoy...

Komentar Go Blog tentang Kuburan Mahal

Senin, 23 April 2012 Pagi ini siaran Go Blog via BBM Group dimulai sengan pembicaraan tentang meninggalnya salah satu tokoh Indonesia yang cukup dihormati atas kerendahan hatinya.
Lalu saya mulai membaca koran pagi via email dan menemukan salah satu trending topics yang menarik yang selalu muncul pada beberapa 'event' kematian orang-orang penting semacam pejabat dan artis. Topik kuburan bonafid. Sekarang, hampir semua pejabat, artis, (pokoknya yang punya banyak uang deh) akan memesan salah satu lot di area pekuburan ini.. Jadi saya melempar pertanyaan saya pada anggota Go Blog lainnya. "Kenapa ya SDH cemetery lg banyak dipake sama pejabat sm artis? Bonafid sekali kayanya tu kuburan.." Inilah jawaban para komentator Go Blog...

R ‎​: Kuburan holywood  

L: Mahal kali itu kuburan lohh  

M: Iya g udah pernah liat wawancara sm pengembangnya.. harganya ky real estate  

M: Prestige org ya... Sampe kuburan aj cari yg bonafide  

L: Yoi..biar masuk surga  

M: Ngaruh ya?  

L: Kan ada di alkitab..cari deh keluaran group Lip **

L: Alkitabnya yang cetakan Agu** Podo**** Land  

L: Pasti ada deh disebutkan Yesus mati di SDH...beli sekarang besok harga berubah   

M: ^_^  ĥϊĥϊ ^_^  

L: Wakakakakakakakakak  

L: Wakakkakakakaak  

L: Waakakakakakakakakakak  

R ‎​: Gelo  

L: Hidup itu banyak amal...banyak berbuat baik...kalau mati di SDH biar masuk surga  

L: Surganya beda beda...ada tipe 36 yang cluster paulus...ada type 54 cluster yohanes..

L: Bila anda bergama islam...tenang saja..kami punya cluster ali,umar ,dan 9 sunan dari indonesia asli  

L: Bila anda beragama budha..ada cluster dewi quan im  

L: Apapun agamanya..matinya SDH

M: Lu yg ngurusin graphic sm org marketingnya ya?

L: Wakaakakakakakakakak  

L: Wakakakakakkakak  

L: Keren kan taglinenya  

L: Wakkakakakakaka  

M: Sekolah dimana lu bisa keren gt?  

L: Menjual kematian  

L: Dp sekarang..dosa anda habis 25 persen  

L: ITE*** dong...  (kuliahnya)

M: Ic ic  

L: Wakakakakakakkaka  

L: Wakaakakakak  

L: Ayukk yang mau mati…  

L: Bayar dimuka..kalau mau akhir jaman nanti dikasih mobil  

L: Nanti dikasih pernak pernik akhir jaman  

L: Ada body bagnya loh...bisa pilih sesuai selera agamanya

L: Jangan lupa beli komiknya  

L: Wakaakakakakakakakak  

L: Wakakakakakakakakak  

R ‎​: Keren wae si L mun nulis nya…

M: Lu belom tulis soal layanan catering dan dekorasi kl ada yg meninggal dan dikubur disana

M: Itu penting jg...  

M: Buat nambah penghasilan kalo lot nya udah kejual semua  

L: Wakakkakakakakaa  

M: Kya ada jasa WO  buat Wedding

M: Eh DO ya....(Death Organizer)  

L: Gw tahu pasti lo mau jadi vendornya  

M: Ahhh ogah ah... Ngurusin org sedih... Ntar makanan enak aj dibilang ga enak semua... Sedih ‎​♥ gua...  

L: Wakaakakakak  

L: Waakakakakakakakak  

L: Kan ada yang emang planning mau mati  

L: Atau udah sakit lama  

L: Nahh kita bisa bisnisin  

L: Jadinya nawarin ke orang kaya yang mau mati  

R ‎​: Huaahh

L: Pak..mau mati? Kami ada paket lengkap plus catering  

M: Lu emang marketing yg Baik ya…

R ‎​: Hiya yaaa

L: Cateringnya harus order lengkap...awal sebelum mati dan setelah mati  

L: Wakakakakakak

Jadi kesimpulannya, mungkin SDH lagi cari vendor buat Death Organizer.  Mengatur Kematian Anda Dengan Gaya…

Sekian dan Terimakasih

When Pregnancy Hits Me

You will never know when the faith comes to you. You never know whether it's a good situation or bad until you really into it. 

Since my pregnancy is a 'Big Hit' among my family and friends, there are these rumors, myths, dreams and also superstitions that been said and become the story that make everything 'make sense' for some people. The first trimester is the hardest, because I have this bleeding. Every night I feel scared that I might loose the baby.

From that bleeding, there's the story about spirits. Yes The Spirits. There's the spirits that want to reincarnate to be my baby. It's dangerous that's why I have bleeding, just blame it on the spirit and everything will be okay. Try to find the right shaman, drink some water from the shaman, put the salt on your bed, bring the garlic, some herbs and scissors everywhere you go. If you do that the bleeding 'might' stop. Might? Yes might... It's not an assurance, it's just a slight of protections.

They never see the reality, that I'm so exhausted in the first month of my pregnancy. There are these photo shoots that takes my times, consume lots of energy and sometimes taking my nerve to deal with lots of people that don't satisfy me. But that's life, right? So I think the over-worked (while I'm not realizing that I'm pregnant) is the first thing that make me bleeding. That's my own logic explanation.

The second trimester (I thought) is a little relief. But still there's the myths that sometimes blocked my way to move. Can't do the walk and walk. I have these people that always watched over me. In some point I love to have a little company, in the other hand, some of them makes me loose my nerve. There are dreams that makes people too worry and then pass those worries to me or to my husband (because I'm too fierce too talk about such things). They said that I'm not all ears. Actually I just have so many questions about those myths, theory, nightmares, or experience. I like to do it when I already know Why? How Come? Why? Why?. Just give me reasons (logic things will be soon accepted).

Some people never realize, despite  I'm questioning a lot of things about the 'un-logic' thingy, I always do the things that they pursue me to do. I seldom loose "my bodyguard" everywhere I go, I don't eat too much ripe mangoes in my first trimester while I'm bleeding (though three of my mango trees are in the season to harvest), rarely drive alone, drink the coconut juice from the cup, eat a little from a little plate, never stay at the corner of the garden at night (even when I'm not pregnant I never do that one), never eat ice block even the weather is freaking hot (and because I'm not the fans of ice drinks), I only sleep 6 to 8 hours a  day not even more, except I catch cold, I put the soap block under my sheet and sometimes I think it's a remote control that i kick under my blanket, I always bring scissors and or garlic and or herbs and or pins and a mini praying paper, I don't eat ripe guava that I love, I drink the coconut oil and lime almost every day, I don't sew or spike, I don't paint the room by myself, I try my best not to get furious too much, I try to release and let go, I try not to cry even I'm so awfully sad, I try not to play with my new puppy too much, I try not too take many steps at the stair, I don't eat too much salt like used to, etc etc etc.  I did crazy superstitions before, now and maybe after the baby is born, and I did it (believe it or not) with heart and I did things that also logic, the rules of the pregnancy. It's only for the sake of my baby.

So sorry that I asked too many questions about those dreams and superstitions. I get curious a lot. Still 3 months to go and I hope everything will be just fine. Even somehow I feel tired with the rules, I still try to manage it with my best.

Love you all,

Enjoy...

Beauty Within

I see the crackle on my feets. The nails seems tO dry and broken. It's been 2 months since my last appointment to my beautycians. It already feels like forever.

Trust me. I adore those appointments, it soothes me, made my day. A time like this make my glow feels dim but somehow my husband never complains, she still call me beauty, even my cracking nails really piss me off.

I'm not that busy. It's my pregnancy that made me really lazy. Bedrest for one month and i don't understand why I really hate to take care of myself, even to take a bath.

Is the pregnancy really hits me off?

The time that i really go out was when my husband came and ask me and all of our friends to have dinner together. Don't expect me to use make up, not even moisturizer that I wear.

At the dinner,i thought at I'm the worst at the crowd, yet i'm not. My friends say that i look glowing, fresh, don't have the pale figure of a pregnant woman, don't have an issue of dry lips. After that i realize that I'm doing just fine.

I think my glow comes from My husband. He is here with me now. Make my day (even better than my visit to my beautycian)

Now i'm writing this at one of my favourite salon.. And i'm doing just fine..

Enjoy..

Keeping Secret

Today I have a nap.. And wake up with many text messages and missed call..

And for a minute I wonder what's going on?

Apparently, it's all about the clarification about the 'good news' that we haven't been spilled.

Boy, isn't the word spread like air? It moves so very fast. It was a little ruin to our surprise... But they just did it and voila... Everyone knows now.

What's wrong with the word of 'secret'? When you say it's a secret, people just getting eager to spread the words.

The other funny thing about secret is "Bad news spread 100times faster than the Good news" sometimes i still wonder why? Why people love talking about bad things than the good things?

I think it might be happened because of the skill and the educations in people's life that effect of spreading the bad news, or you have too much time doing nothing.. If your family usually have the habits of being panic or have a high anxiety, just beware, maybe you also have the habits of spreading the bad news faster than the good news.

Yes, it's anoying to hear too many things at the same time, it's overwhelming to hear all the gossips and rumours 8 hour a day, but honey, just be honest. We live 24 hours a day with it. The media and the telecomunications make us those people.. People with gossip. Just enjoy it or just die with it. So easy and simple.

Enjoy!!

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead... ~Benjamin Franklin~

Read more: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/secret.html#ixzz1h4Tyb8y2

strong, stronger.

This has been a tough month for me.
1. My imac is broken, still have the icare, but the service take a loooong time... It's already a month, still no answer about the imac.
2. My mac book pro broken at the same time with my imac... so this is really effect what I'm doing, my schedule, my photo shoot, my blog and my social life because internet so important in my long distant relationship.
3. I lost my beagle.. Somehow at midnight the fence is opened and nobody knows about it. It broke my heart, a lot.
4. My alergy worsen..
5. My employees have to be discharge from their works because they need to be more independent of them-self, and I need a transition to moving out from Bali to Singapore...

That doesn't include what happened today. I feel rejected from my friends, somehow this is the moment that I need them the most. Today there's a clear sight that they have been lying, manipulative to others, and big bullshitting in front of me and my husband. Somehow all the tragedies makes me realize, that human is human. They cheat, they lie like they're breathing. Somehow I knew him for years but today I feel that I don't recognize him anymore... He's out of my league.

Well what doesn't kill me only makes me stronger... Even somehow It's hard to go on. 

Yet, with al the tragedies I found the silver lining. It feels like the gold at the end of the rainbow.
I have several good news to be spread (but not now). I buy new laptop. I could write again and the photo shoot (even sooo overwhelming) has been a great project.

Somehow with all my tears today - because of the feeling rejected, dumb and too naif - I know that I cannot rely on people, I have to stand up and walk on. Like we know that rainbow only comes after the rain.

Enjoy..

Just A Year Old

It's been a year for me being a Mrs. instead of a Ms. How's the marriage life so far?
I think it's been the same.. Nothing really change between us, only being stronger all the time. We know that lots of marriage among us is crumbling down. Many people look for another person to fill their heart. Like the old phrase that I always heard "the empty room that needs to be filled" and may I say, "what room?".. There is only our Master Bedroom and baby room (still in progress) the guest room is outside this house maybe for families..not for another person. It's fully booked. Even I try to stay away from our family to harmonize everything... Relatives, parents, friends are fine but usually we will meet outside this house.

You  must say that I'm a cruel person, actually I'm trying to explain that I hate cheaters. they always makes me down. I will make my boundaries.

Yet in the real life, people will say that me and Mr. is an easy going couple. Living apart for months now and yet we still be happy with what we have. And we're very truthful to our relationship.

Some people ask, "is it okay?" Yes we're okay with what kind of life we choose, we already make those decisions so it's our risk, but if you ask "is it hard?" We also will say YES... It's hard but somehow that will make us cherish every moments and live with it and try to have the trust.

It's not easy to trust people in distance. We can't see them, we can't feel them all we got is an internet connection and skype and sometimes the picture could lie. However the "touch" won't feel the same with monitor. When the internet down then your feeling also down.

It's just a year old marriage. Though we already feel that's it's been a long time that we knew each habit of our spouse. We never get bored of each other in the other hand we will make it through time.. and be together again at last..

Now, we're welcoming the new time, the other year to walk on, to make our journey more meaningful, to celebrate every moment. And pray, that God will be on our side, so we will find those - what we're looking for.

Enjoy!