Beauty Within

I see the crackle on my feets. The nails seems tO dry and broken. It's been 2 months since my last appointment to my beautycians. It already feels like forever.

Trust me. I adore those appointments, it soothes me, made my day. A time like this make my glow feels dim but somehow my husband never complains, she still call me beauty, even my cracking nails really piss me off.

I'm not that busy. It's my pregnancy that made me really lazy. Bedrest for one month and i don't understand why I really hate to take care of myself, even to take a bath.

Is the pregnancy really hits me off?

The time that i really go out was when my husband came and ask me and all of our friends to have dinner together. Don't expect me to use make up, not even moisturizer that I wear.

At the dinner,i thought at I'm the worst at the crowd, yet i'm not. My friends say that i look glowing, fresh, don't have the pale figure of a pregnant woman, don't have an issue of dry lips. After that i realize that I'm doing just fine.

I think my glow comes from My husband. He is here with me now. Make my day (even better than my visit to my beautycian)

Now i'm writing this at one of my favourite salon.. And i'm doing just fine..

Enjoy..

Keeping Secret

Today I have a nap.. And wake up with many text messages and missed call..

And for a minute I wonder what's going on?

Apparently, it's all about the clarification about the 'good news' that we haven't been spilled.

Boy, isn't the word spread like air? It moves so very fast. It was a little ruin to our surprise... But they just did it and voila... Everyone knows now.

What's wrong with the word of 'secret'? When you say it's a secret, people just getting eager to spread the words.

The other funny thing about secret is "Bad news spread 100times faster than the Good news" sometimes i still wonder why? Why people love talking about bad things than the good things?

I think it might be happened because of the skill and the educations in people's life that effect of spreading the bad news, or you have too much time doing nothing.. If your family usually have the habits of being panic or have a high anxiety, just beware, maybe you also have the habits of spreading the bad news faster than the good news.

Yes, it's anoying to hear too many things at the same time, it's overwhelming to hear all the gossips and rumours 8 hour a day, but honey, just be honest. We live 24 hours a day with it. The media and the telecomunications make us those people.. People with gossip. Just enjoy it or just die with it. So easy and simple.

Enjoy!!

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead... ~Benjamin Franklin~

Read more: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/secret.html#ixzz1h4Tyb8y2

strong, stronger.

This has been a tough month for me.
1. My imac is broken, still have the icare, but the service take a loooong time... It's already a month, still no answer about the imac.
2. My mac book pro broken at the same time with my imac... so this is really effect what I'm doing, my schedule, my photo shoot, my blog and my social life because internet so important in my long distant relationship.
3. I lost my beagle.. Somehow at midnight the fence is opened and nobody knows about it. It broke my heart, a lot.
4. My alergy worsen..
5. My employees have to be discharge from their works because they need to be more independent of them-self, and I need a transition to moving out from Bali to Singapore...

That doesn't include what happened today. I feel rejected from my friends, somehow this is the moment that I need them the most. Today there's a clear sight that they have been lying, manipulative to others, and big bullshitting in front of me and my husband. Somehow all the tragedies makes me realize, that human is human. They cheat, they lie like they're breathing. Somehow I knew him for years but today I feel that I don't recognize him anymore... He's out of my league.

Well what doesn't kill me only makes me stronger... Even somehow It's hard to go on. 

Yet, with al the tragedies I found the silver lining. It feels like the gold at the end of the rainbow.
I have several good news to be spread (but not now). I buy new laptop. I could write again and the photo shoot (even sooo overwhelming) has been a great project.

Somehow with all my tears today - because of the feeling rejected, dumb and too naif - I know that I cannot rely on people, I have to stand up and walk on. Like we know that rainbow only comes after the rain.

Enjoy..

Just A Year Old

It's been a year for me being a Mrs. instead of a Ms. How's the marriage life so far?
I think it's been the same.. Nothing really change between us, only being stronger all the time. We know that lots of marriage among us is crumbling down. Many people look for another person to fill their heart. Like the old phrase that I always heard "the empty room that needs to be filled" and may I say, "what room?".. There is only our Master Bedroom and baby room (still in progress) the guest room is outside this house maybe for families..not for another person. It's fully booked. Even I try to stay away from our family to harmonize everything... Relatives, parents, friends are fine but usually we will meet outside this house.

You  must say that I'm a cruel person, actually I'm trying to explain that I hate cheaters. they always makes me down. I will make my boundaries.

Yet in the real life, people will say that me and Mr. is an easy going couple. Living apart for months now and yet we still be happy with what we have. And we're very truthful to our relationship.

Some people ask, "is it okay?" Yes we're okay with what kind of life we choose, we already make those decisions so it's our risk, but if you ask "is it hard?" We also will say YES... It's hard but somehow that will make us cherish every moments and live with it and try to have the trust.

It's not easy to trust people in distance. We can't see them, we can't feel them all we got is an internet connection and skype and sometimes the picture could lie. However the "touch" won't feel the same with monitor. When the internet down then your feeling also down.

It's just a year old marriage. Though we already feel that's it's been a long time that we knew each habit of our spouse. We never get bored of each other in the other hand we will make it through time.. and be together again at last..

Now, we're welcoming the new time, the other year to walk on, to make our journey more meaningful, to celebrate every moment. And pray, that God will be on our side, so we will find those - what we're looking for.

Enjoy!

Friend?

Arnold Glasow once was said, "A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down."

Today I'm going deep down and somehow the one that I called true friend even make a leap and dance upon my misery and I just stumble, don't say a bit, just watch another drama glimpse in front of my eyes then I keep on watching till I'm stoned and really realize that she's just that!

In the other hand, a person that I always shove and push to stand away from my side, is being there and stay as a true friend. Weird!

I think this world is being mad, or it's just natural for everybody to take the most advantage you can get from the others.. Is it the rule from the past centuries or it's just there, just now?

I feel disappoint (of course) but in the other hand it's a revelation. My eyes wide shut and it's  just open to the real world... A person just knock my door and offer me the dictionary of truth then some part of myself just said it's my karma. However I tried my best to survive to this lunatic being, a sarcastic person and cynical acts of people. I have to survive.. I have to.


So my point is (beside talking bullshit about my feelings right now) You really really can't judge the book by it's cover, don't try to explain "what is friendship?" and describe it in life and only with words. Sometimes you cannot see the beauty within, sometimes we also blur about the rubbish behind the beautiful things, don't trust your eyes, don't trust your judgment, just seize the day and be creative about your problems, somehow you'll find out that you are your only friend and the time will make you wiser.

 Enjoy! (though it's hurt)

Walking In The Rain

I am totally busted today!

I woke up at noon, soo late that I could feel guilty to myself and if my husband never calls, maybe i never awoke.. The dream too damn good or the room to damn cozy.. Je ne sais pas.

So, i just got out at 4pm and its raining (again).. I am going to my husband's office in Chinatown. Like every woman in this world would ask, 'what (the hell) am I going to wear today?' and the great thing is it's raining so it will double the problem.

So i snook in my closet.. I also have another problem.. My period! I better choose something dark for my skirts or pants..Just to build my confidence. I have this short pants from yesterday, a grey tank and one long lace blazer.. Neat!

So what about the shoes? Actually i rather choose boots than high heels but i left my black boots in Bali.. I got no choice, so i wear my silver pump up high heels and walk with pride with it... In the middle of the rain...

The last thing to project is my Umbrella... I wish i bought the leopard prints umbrella back in the Marks and Spencer.. But I don't have those kind, so I have to bring my 2 dollars pastel pink umbrella with the silver lining in it.

Now you must be wonder why I choose short pants rather than longs pants although it's raining... Well, Ibr lived in tropical climate, so even though it's raining, the weather is hot.. Extremely hot and i always feel overwhelmed with the humidity. Sweating and oily skin is like a must.And you know when it's raining, most of the splash from the street will make stains on your pants and I don't like it...

So if it's hot you might also think why i bring my semi lace long blazer with me... Actually I don't know where we are going. If he brought me to shopping center or mall or to the movies, the air conditioner is extremely cold. It's almost feel freezing inside... Even when I go to supermarket, sometimes I feel chilled at the fish sections or milk sections... C o l d ...

So, what's your best outfit for rainy days? I think the best accessories is the rain itself.. Like the old song 'Just walking in the rain feeling soaking wet..' No need the umbrella.. Just embrace the weather!!!

Enjoy..

Wanna go back to the 80's

Stepping on day 2 in the City of Merlion ... The air was still hot, soo cloudy (just like yesterday) .. But I always enjoy the time here for my husband, and like always we could have our lunch together...
 
Menu for today is prawn noodle, we go to China Square and just beside the Spinelli coffee you will find a nice place that sell yummy prawn noodles and the best part is the crunchy pork floss for my topping (not for my husband of course).. And of course it's still drizzling but we sit in the porch outside and have our lovely lunch-conversation.


After that i was plan to go to the cinema but too bad, I was to late so I just have myself walking in the mall and did some window shopping, and somehow I remember my old days.. when I was just a little baby. 


It was at the 80's. Everything felt so innocent for me. Nothing too serious to think about, or may I say nothing in my mind that time.. Just being a little watcher.


As a good watcher I watch and heard many things that always there on my mind... Especially in fashion. I remember that my sister always stuffed her closet with so many accessories. Many earrings from hoop earrings, tassels, golds or silver or black silver, long earrings and ear stud, many ear studs, enormous clip earrings, another gold, many bangles, colorful bangles, neon colors and that's also time when pearls is so hot! 

Don't forget the sunglasses, they will wear huge sunglasses and wear it day and night.


When we say about bags, she will collect various size of clutch and of course with various colors. satchels and back pack!


The clothing is like Dynasty Dramas, shoulder patch, baggy trousers, skinny jeans, Big Prints for Mickey Mouse and friends (I love Goofy the most) and everything always double studded or decorated with beads and sequins. And have I told you the sweaters? Soo many sweaters that time I think we could have one big chest special for sweaters.


Our dresses made from silk, satin, chiffon silk, velvets and so many laces. That moment I think all the designer don't think about the cost of the fabric.. The more the better... Look at Princess Diana's wedding gown.. The veil is so looooooooooooooooong.. The shoulder puff is so huge.. And it's the Hits!


Don't forget about the hair do.. Remember the mullet? Or the 30cm tall hair do? Or the hits of Mohawk.. It's in the 80's and somehow It's a colorful and freedom era... 


Need some music? Every Vanilla is not so vanilla that time... Forget Eminem and just listen to Vanilla Ice or Bobby Brown and in that time he's not married yet to Whitney. And Milli Vanilli isn't famous for plagiarism. I also remember the cute baby face Rick Astley, Tommy Page and don't forget that MJ haven't change his face so drastically. Female artist? You must remember Paula Abdul and Janet Jackson with their rockin' body to dance. Madonna is sooo Marylin-steaming. Listen Debbie Gibson and bet you will have a twisted moods... You can listen to Techno to hip hops, pop to rock, you just name it!

Just enjoy your memories.. Like I re-memorize my sisters with all those outfits and imagine what my husband look like that time, with his hair (yes.. that time he still have his hair) and dancing disco and break-dance all night long. Whaat?

You want to go back? Somehow I do... So, do listen to Bowie and Sting and u2 when they're still young or Kool an the Gang and Roxette to boost your mind and please remember to disco with your  10 pieces of bangles, neon colors and Vivienne Westwood look a like..

 

Enjoy!!